Setting Boundaries: The Power of Non-Negotiables
Many people struggle to embrace the concept of setting boundaries. It can feel selfish or even unkind to establish firm limits with others. But here’s the truth: setting boundaries is one of the most profound acts of self-care you can practice.
Boundaries are how you communicate what is acceptable—and what isn’t—in your relationships. They’re how you make yourself and your needs a priority. And they’re absolutely critical to building a balanced, fulfilling life. In fact, boundary setting is a key component of the “Design” phase, the fourth step in my unique House-building Approach to creating your best life. (I share this framework in greater detail in my Empowerment Fundamentals Course.)
Starting with Your Non-Negotiables
The challenge many women face isn’t understanding why boundaries matter—it’s figuring out where to begin. I like to start by identifying my non-negotiables: the things that absolutely must happen to ensure I maintain balance, calm, and overall good health.
I find it helpful to think about non-negotiables across different areas of life—work, health, and relationships. These become the foundation for the boundaries I set.
A Real-Life Example: My Coaching Practice
Let me walk you through how this plays out in my life coaching practice.
I’ve learned that for my clients to achieve meaningful transformation, they must be open to exploring how mindset shapes the way they live and approach life. Real change requires digging deep internally—doing the hard, honest inner work that leads to breakthrough moments.
So my non-negotiables are clear: I work with clients who demonstrate openness to introspection and who understand that mindset plays a crucial role in their happiness and success.
I’ve spoken with potential clients who want someone to simply tell them what to do—to hand them a blueprint without the inner exploration. While I respect that approach, it doesn’t align with my non-negotiable of working with women ready to do their own transformative inner work.
Health Non-Negotiables: Protecting Your Well-Being
One of my most important health non-negotiables centers on my morning routine—a sacred practice that supports both my life balance and mental health.
Most mornings, I begin by making matcha tea, followed by my gratitude practice, journaling and meditation. This isn’t just a nice-to-have; it’s essential to how I show up in the world. It grounds me, clears my mind, and sets the tone for everything that follows.
Now, can this happen every single morning? No. Life happens. But I intentionally block out time for this routine to happen most mornings. And that means I don’t start working until 10 a.m. on most days.
Does this sometimes mean I work in the evenings or on weekends? Yes, it does. And I’m at peace with that, because this is what balance looks like for me. Balance isn’t about perfect symmetry or fitting into someone else’s definition of a well-structured day. It’s about honoring what you need to feel whole, energized, and aligned—even if it looks unconventional.
By protecting my mornings, I’m setting a boundary that says: my mental health and inner work come first. Everything else flows from that foundation.
Relationship Non-Negotiables: Finding Your Match
When I was single and navigating the dating world, I had a clear non-negotiable: I needed to be with someone who had a passion for continual learning and reading.
As a Type A entrepreneur, I’m always learning new things and evolving. It’s not just a personality trait—it’s essential to who I am. And as a life coach working in the personal growth space, I have to practice what I teach others. Learning and growth are woven into my daily life.
Now, did I need to date someone who was as deeply into spirituality or the more “woo woo” sides of inner work? No. But I absolutely needed someone who embraced the value of continual growth and who genuinely enjoyed reading—two things I feel strongly and passionately about.
This wasn’t about finding someone exactly like me. It was about finding someone whose values aligned with mine in the areas that mattered most. Someone who understood that continual learning is a way of living.
When you’re clear on your non-negotiables in relationships, you stop settling for connections that drain you or require you to dim your light. Instead, you create space for partnerships that elevate and support the life you’re building.
Your Turn: What Are Your Non-Negotiables?
Setting boundaries begins with clarity. When you identify your non-negotiables—those essential elements that keep you balanced, healthy, and aligned—you create a foundation for a life that truly works for you.
This is what living “two feet in” looks like. It’s about being intentional with your energy, your time, and your relationships. It’s about designing a life that honors who you are and what you need to thrive, even when it looks different from what everyone else is doing.
So I invite you to ask yourself:
- What must happen in your work life for you to feel fulfilled and energized?
- What daily practices are essential to your mental and physical health?
- What values are non-negotiable in your relationships?
Start there. Write them down. And then begin building boundaries that protect them.
Remember, boundaries aren’t walls that keep people out—they’re the framework that allows you to show up as your best self. They’re how you create space for what matters most.
That’s not selfish. That’s self-care. And it’s the foundation of a life lived all in.
~xo Jeanne
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